If you ask a driven person what the key is to their motivation, you will be surprised to find out that motivation doesn’t come naturally.
Motivation requires daily rituals and constant mindfulness.
You can change your way and your thinking, and ultimately your life, by kicking your motivation into gear, leading you to a 21 day habit-changing milestone. This eventually will guide you to your ultimate desired goal.
Let’s face the truth about humans… Humans don’t like making big changes. They prefer comfort over working hard at anything. But there’s a popular saying that goes “change your brain change your life”, whereby change takes place first in the mind before it materializes on a physical form.
One has to make a conscious decision for something to change in order for their wish to come true.
Life will throw you a lot of punches. In your lifetime you will encounter many setbacks, but if you cannot motivate yourself on a mindset level first to change your situation to a desirable one, you will just exist without living your true authentic self.
If you have read our post How To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself (7 Life Changing Tips), then you’re probably ready for the next move, which will provide you with 6 actionable steps to kickstart your motivation into gear and change your life!
Are you ready to take the “change your life” challenge?
Time To Stop Making Excuses: Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life
- 1 Time To Stop Making Excuses: Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life
- 2 Why Are You Having A Rough Time Right Now?
- 3 The 6 Steps That Will Change Your Life
- 3.1 Step #1: Trick Your Brain To Regurgitate All What’s bothering You
- 3.2 Step #2: Write This Motivational Phrase On Your Bathroom Mirror
- 3.3 Step #3: Kickstart Your Upbeat Momentum With This Action
- 3.4 Step #4: Write Down What You Can No Longer Accept In Your Life
- 3.5 Step #5: Commit to Changing Your Habits With This 21- Day Routine
- 3.6 Step #6: Maintain Your Momentum With Your Daily Gratitude and Small Goals Journal
- 4 The Bottom Line
In order to change your life around, you must first STOP making excuses and embrace a bit of uncomfortableness.
This is a big word, I know, but it’s what you need to do.
When you put a nail in a piece of wood, the wood has to clear some space in order for the nail to go in. You are like that piece of wood, and the change that is coming in your direction is like the nail.
- Sometimes we are in denial, and the approach of this post is to FORCE your brain to give you clues as to the true reasons why you want something to change.
- Once you have a subconscious confession from your brain (in other words, your “why” you want to change things around), then you move into releasing all that does not serve your future. This includes habits, rituals, and negative or toxic people. You want to move forward in a positive way, and not go back and continue on the same path.
- After that, you move into powerful daily rituals that will keep you grounded and will keep things focused for you.
Why Are You Having A Rough Time Right Now?
Maybe you need a breakthrough because you’re ending a bad loveless, or abusive relationship.
Maybe your job really stinks, because you are tired of being bossed round, or living your life in a cubicle.
Or maybe you are seeking more freedom and you started your own business, but things are not moving fast enough to replace your job income.
Maybe you feel down on your luck, or financially depleted.
Maybe you are spiritually driven and a good person, but you keep attracting the wrong people in your life.
Maybe you have children that you need to take care of, a parent, a family member who needs you to be strong, but you can barely wake up in the morning to force yourself to go to work.
Any of these sound familiar?
Regardless OF the reasons, you can change your life today at 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, or at any age!
There are no magic potions or “change your life spells” that you can buy from the gypsy lady down the street. You have to do the work.
Sometimes momentum takes a bit of effort to kick in, but if you are reading this, then I assure you that you are READY to kick it full force.
Think of this process as a depleted car battery that caused the car to stop in the middle of the street. With a bit of juice from an external charger, or a jumper cable from another car, you can start moving again. Once you remove the jumper cable you will have momentum, you will eventually recharge your battery, and you will get you to your final destination without stalling again.
Now, trust that this method is going to work just like the momentum of the battery.
Commit to it for just 21 days and see how it goes. After 21 days, all newly formed habits will become a way of life, and will get you closer to your end goal.
The 6 Steps That Will Change Your Life
Motivation can be kicked into gear, even if you don’t feel motivated.
It is like a habit that you form. It starts with a small action that you may or may not want to do, and then it turns into a colossal momentum that keeps you charged and moving forward.
We are assuming here that there’s something really bothering you and that you just can’t take the present situation anymore. Maybe you’re feeling sorry for yourself, or maybe you have a hundred other “maybe(s)”, but it’s never too late to change your life.
You can be your own motivation to change your life.
Step #1: Trick Your Brain To Regurgitate All What’s bothering You
If you’re really at a fragile place in your life, use your low point to your advantage.
Record yourself on audio or video crying, and truly breaking down in tears. You must evoke some truly sad emotions inside of you to get to this point.
Don’t worry about making a fool out of yourself. Nobody will be listening to you or watching you (make sure not to do this LIVE on facebook or on any other social media! Just you, and your audio or video recorder tool).
Put on some somber music that gets you in a sad mood. Samuel Barber’s Adagio for Strings is probably the saddest piece of music I have ever heard, and it never fails to make me cry.
With the saddest music in the background, wait for that breaking point and then start talking about how much your life sucks and how your dreams never came through.
Trust me. Just do it.
Let all those emotions out, and keep the dramatic music score of your choice rolling.
Talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Talk about how you never get a break, how this person or that person disappointed you.
Be honest with yourself. Did you disappoint yourself? Have you been eating our emotions out? Are you doing bad things behind someone else’s back? Have you been mean to your kids? Are you worried about money? Did people disappoint you? Did someone you love deeply hurt you?
Cry it out. Let all the ickiness come out.
- What is hurting you right now?
- What things or behaviors are you sick and tired of?
- What happens if you stay where you are and don’t make a life change?
- What will you lose if you don’t change your ways?
Continue to talk and cry until you can’t talk and cry anymore, or until you start laughing about how dramatic everything is sounding (this may definitely happen).
Making a change will take some soul searching.
Growth doesn’t come when things are stagnant and “OK” or comfortable.
Growth comes when things are super uncomfortable. It comes when your soul hurts. So, be truthful to yourself.
If the recording embarrasses you, you can eventually delete it, but make sure to look at it and listen to it a few times first. After 2 or 3 times of repeating it, it may make you laugh.
Congratulations… You have now solidified the “WHY” you need to make a change in your life. It is engraved in your mind, and you have proof of it.
Step #2: Write This Motivational Phrase On Your Bathroom Mirror
Okay, the next step will sound wacky-koo-koo. Do it anyway.
Now that you have dug out your “WHY” (and you have made a fool out of yourself in front of yourself) wait until your tears dry out, wash your face, and then go to your bathroom mirror, equipped with the biggest and fattest sharpie that you can find.
On your mirror, write down the following positive affirmation. No, this is not kookoo. Just do it.
“I accept myself
unconditionally right now.”
Yes. This is exactly what you need to write down. You will read this statement every time you go to your sink to wash your face or brush your teeth. So, we’re looking at a minimum of twice per day.
In the future, reading this statement becomes something that you cannot avoid because your mind is conditioned to read words, and you will repeat this statement over and over.
You will be surprised at how powerful your subconscious mind is to translate this statement from what you just see (as blank letters) to what you believe in. The mind doesn’t know the difference, and with repetition you can improve your own self-love and acceptance.
The more you read it, the more you give yourself a loving break, which is something you absolutely need right now.
Step #3: Kickstart Your Upbeat Momentum With This Action
Once you have placed a positive affirmation on your bathroom mirror, get your headphones and put on your walking shoes.
Get some upbeat music on Pandora or Spotify and go for a walk. It could be a long or a short walk, a run or a jog.
Your date with your very upbeat music must be at least 15 minutes long!
It is amazing how you can immediately change your state of mind with music, and this is exactly what we are trying to trick the brain to do. Some of Katie Perry’s songs are what I like to listen to to get me stoked about being alive!
“I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am the champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!” (Katie Perry)
When you come back from your walk, take a shower, make yourself a cup of healing green tea (green tea is going to help your mood and your energy) and sit down to a table with no obstructions.
You can play classical piano music, or soft neutral music, but nothing really upbeat and nothing depressing at this point. Lord knows that Rachmaninoff is one of my favorite pianists, but I cannot listen to him without getting emotional. So make sure you have something neutral.
You want to evoke your creativity. I usually play soft piano music I find on YouTube or ambient music on the TuneIn app.
Step #4: Write Down What You Can No Longer Accept In Your Life
Writing down your deal breaker triggers is a great step in learning how to change your life around.
I like to use a real journal, with a real pen, over typing all of this on a computer keyboard. There’s something healing about writing something down.
Write down EVERYTHING you are no longer willing to settle for, EVER AGAIN!
- It could be a bad relationship that you need to get out of and kiss goodbye forever.
- It could be the excess 20 pounds you’ve been carrying forever (or maybe 50, or 100 or 200 pounds, whatever you feel is keeping you stagnant).
- It could be your financial situation.
- It could be a job that gives you anxiety.
- It could be your own boundaries with your own self and your own non-loving ways towards yourself… Maybe you’re masking your emotions with comfort foods, or maybe drugs, or alcohol.
- It could be your social skills that have kept you a prisoner inside your own self, where you have secluded yourself from the outside world.
- It could be anything bad or anyone who is toxic that no longer serve your goals and your future.
It’s time to own up to everything in your life.
Stop making excuses about how your life turned out to be. Take Charge!
If you want to know how to completely change your life, then you must stop believing that the reason your life is miserable is because of an external factor or person.
If you’re willing to take complete control of your life, you need to stop saying “it’s everybody else’s fault”. Stop saying that! You are now in control.
Step #5: Commit to Changing Your Habits With This 21- Day Routine
The final step in the process of learning how to change your life completely for the better is to commit to change for 21 days by showing up for yourself.
Start showing up for yourself each and every day.
It’s OK to be where you are right now, after all that silly recording session that you did earlier, the walk to clear your head, the pouring your heart out on paper earlier about what you don’t want anymore, you are ready for committing to change.
It is Ok, but you also realize that it is also humiliating where you are right now, isn’t it?
Find alternatives to addictions: You have humiliated yourself enough. There are many ways you can change your life. Start educating yourself on how to make a change. There is a wealth of information on the internet that you can tap into. Here are examples.
If you have a substance abuse issue, and you are done being abusive to your own self, then it’s time to kick the habit. There are many local support groups you can go to. If you want to get help, you will find the way. Go and take that first step.
If you feel that your health is suffering as a result of a sugar addiction, then you owe it to yourself to research options, such as the Ketogenic diet, and see how you can implement that in your life. It doesn’t have to be a keto diet, but make sure it is a diet that will not make you hungry, or trigger overeating, and make sure to limit your sugar intake (sugar can produce a lot of inflammation in the body). Start with the grocery list that you need to buy. Make a plan. Of course, make sure to check with your physician if you have a health condition before undergoing any form of diet.
If your job is terrible and you want to move to a different company, then make the first step. Update your resume and post it on the major resume sites like CareerBuilder, Indeed, Dice, Monster, or LinkedIn.
If you’re in an abusive relationship find a way to leave. Nobody who takes you for granted is worthy of you. Nobody should degrade you or mistreat you. It is better to be alone, than to be lonely in the wrong relationship. Even if you have shared kids together, you don’t need to put up with the abuse. Make a plan and execute it, even if it takes a while to do. There are shelters, and groups that will help get you over the hump of a bad relationship. Just google them or check around.
Support your brain and mind health: If you have neglected your health and you are not taking vitamins, you may want to boost your health with a good multivitamin for your age and gender, and a B12 supplement.
I like the dissolving B12 form without sugar. Some prefer the liquid B12 form. You will probably need other supplements or nutrients, but these are going to be essential in boosting your energy, and should be the minimal supplements that you want to take, unless your diet is amazing and you are not deficient in anything! I doubt that to be the case, though.
Vitamins and minerals may have an effect on your cellular efficiency. They can activate certain enzyme systems that allow for the cells to function. Vitamin B12 can help make you feel more upbeat mentally and it is naturally present in some foods, but not generally in plant foods. This is a good reason to add this important vitamin to your daily regimen if you are vegan or vegetarian, because it will help lift your mood. Low levels of B12 and other B vitamin deficiency may be linked to depression and you want to support your mind as much as you can while you make changes to your life .
Step #6: Maintain Your Momentum With Your Daily Gratitude and Small Goals Journal
It’s time to keep that momentum because one small step can change your life.
Go buy 2 notepads or journals. They don’t have to be fancy, just something to write in. One should be called “My Daily Gratitude”, the other should be called “My Goals”.
Daily gratitude journal: Every day, you will write down one thing you are grateful for. This is very powerful, and will keep you grounded. You want to commit to 21 days of gratitude, then go for 30 days and then for 90 days. You may find that you like this exercise and use it every day for the rest of your life.
Example: Today, I’m grateful for this amazing weather. The sky is beautiful and blue, and it makes me feel alive. Thank you sky!
Major goals and daily steps journal: Each day make small goals that you can check mark and complete. Don’t over do it. Just make attainable small goals. Commit to making a life change with small steps towards your goals. You should have a master task list that you can place in the first few pages, and a daily task list.
If you have a printer, you can download the templates below and print them out.
Each day should have an actionable list of things that will keep you focused. It can be small, or big. For example, if you want to change your job, write it down in your master task list.
So, a master list that should go on a separate piece of paper will be something like:
– Change jobs.
– Lose 20 Pounds.
– Clean the house.
Now, dissect each goal into smaller goals that you can write down, and each day dissect these goals to even smaller steps.
So, for example… Small steps to the goal of changing jobs would be:
- Task: Update my resume
– Login to Careerbuilder.
– Upload my resume.
– Change my voicemail to make it more professional.
- Task: Apply to 3 jobs per day
– Apply to a job at CareerBuilder.
– Apply to a job at LinkedIn.
– Apply to a job at Jobbing.Check mark each step after completion.
Once you reach your 21 days of being consistent in following your plan, celebrate.
Buy yourself something you’ve always wanted, such as a book, or treat yourself to a fun event like going to the movies with a friend.
Now, extend the daily goals and steps to 30 days (1 month) and then to 90 days (3 months).
Continue educating yourself and keep reading motivational books like Change your Brain Change Your Life to keep the momentum going.
If you’re still on track after 3 months, and you should be, extend it to 6 months and so on.
Before you know it, one small step will lead to the next step. Trust that this will work!
The Bottom Line
You cannot drive in an unfamiliar city like Hong Kong at night without following the road one step at a time or without using a GPS.
Even in the darkest of nights you can still find your way as long as you turn the car key in the ignition, and as long as you’re following the road one step at a time.
And this is exactly the idea. If you want to change your life, you will get there but you have to kickstart that change (whether you feel like it or not) and follow a system one step at a time.
Write down your goals, the steps needed to complete them, and write down daily gratitudes. After 21 days, all newly formed habits can become a way of life and you would have started your path to changing your life forever and channeling a new direction in future. Make the change!